An actual art blog post!

One of the most common things I'm asked by those truly interested in my art is, "What inspires you?". Believe me when I tell you that's a fully loaded question lol. Still being fairly new to the art game its hard to pin down what my original inspiration point was now that I feel a sense of limitlessness to my muse. What I can tell you is I can feel the physical chemical change in my body when the moment hits me. A euphoria slips over me like none other and suddenly I'm not me anymore, I'm Circe, the artist.

Thats not to say I have another personality or anything weird, what I mean is I feel like a lot of it is an out of body experience for me. Like it's not me painting almost. It really begins with a thought. I'll take you through my latest creation to demonstrate what I mean.....

I had been working on a Alice in wonderland project and wanted to kind of "cleanse the palate" and try another painting. This often gives me a new perspective on the piece Im currently working on and has been a wonderful boost to my creative process. I picked up one of my many 8x10 blank canvas's, placed it on the easel and then....... proceeded to stare at it for 45 mins. I'm not kidding. A million ideas rolled around my head, almost spoiled for choice I found myself unable to pick just one thing to focus on. That happens when I come to the easel in a neutral state.

See, another part of my creative process is heavy emotions. If Im painting, Im either feeling something I desperately no longer want to feel... or feeling something so incredibly beautiful that I want to immortalize the moment. Neutral just means I pushed myself to stand there with no emotion behind it to help practice my skills, occasionally this works out, other times I just stand there for 10 minutes blankly before walking away lol. Most every time Im called to my canvas's, Im in distress of feeling. I hate feeling, even good things... those come to an end ya know.

Unable to decide on what to paint, I decided on colors. What colors did I want? What colors did I feel. It surprised me very little that I reached for both of the deep purple paints (For my artsy friends thats Deep Violet and Dioxazine purple from liquitex) that I have, and then begrudgingly reached for the pink as well only because no other color seemed to be the right fit here..... even though I truly despise the color pink. I laid down a gradient color shift with the lightest in the middle and then let it dry and stared at it again for another 20 minutes....

Now, here is where the muse steps in to my body and where the text gets a little "Fast" lol .... I sat there staring at the beautiful purples and each muted brush stroke, I love how those colors make me feel, like an old friend coming to see you after a long time.... Like a conversation with your best friend thats carried on for years with no end..... Like a cat curling up on your feet on a cool autumn night.... Warm... Comfortable.

Then BOOM.....

Suddenly Im painting branches on the beautiful backdrop because the comfort in the colors reminded me of safety, you cannot be comfortable if you are not safe, safety is the key to keeping life...

That branch then held a nest, which then held robins eggs as I listened to the chirping of the baby chick in the other room that my son has raised up and remind myself of how safe and loved and comfortable that lil one is right now. Then I felt the vulnerability of the eggs, alone... where is mom? Hunting? Lost? No... the babies needed a protector and then came the fairy woman, my love for magical things and creatures' spews into almost everything I do... But of course, she couldn't be alone so the spider, the butterfly and the ladybug all joined her to look in on the robins eggs to ensure no harm would come to them. "James and the Giant Peach" one of my favorite comfort movies, featured bugs of all varieties protecting a boy and keeping him much safer than the humans in his life did... there.... THAT is the endless stream of inspiration that flows for me and continued to flow. I didnt want to stop painting this one but something calmed the hurricane of feelings I stirred up and told me to finish it.

At the end I usually step back from the mess Ive now created but can barely see past the mess itself, that's how I know "I'm" back now, not Circe.... paint bottles are everywhere, it looks like my corner has exploded with brushes and rags, drops of paint, empty cider cans, a handful of candy wrappers, half a bag of chips and dead ear buds... All I see right away is the mess so I always walk away, do a small task and come back to the painting...

Imagine my surprise when I come back to the painting and realize.... "Wait... I can paint!?"

Sometimes it is that stupid. I stand there staring at my hands.

So there you have it....

Hurt me and I will bleed on to the canvas the most beautiful portrayal of your hurt that could ever be painted.....

As Always,

My love to you all

CR